Why Isn't Toth Dancing? [Personal Reflections on the Final Fantasy series]

So, at this point in my ingestion of a game, I'm normally erupting out of all orifices with thoughts, comparisons, criticisms, and inane observations. If you are craving that kind of Killa blogging for Final Fantasy XIII, (not that anyone is) you'll have to wait awhile.

I took a personal day (ftw) on Tuesday to obtain and subsequently play the fuck out of the game. Big Sis Prinny was unfortunately stuck working, and preparing for a business trip. Oh how jealous she was.

Fast forward to today. Wherein I'm here at my venue, sweet, venue for a scant thirteen hours, whilst she took a "floating holiday" (a tongue-in-cheek reference to Cocoon, no doubt) to stay home and kick off a long weekend of Final Fantasy XIII. Both Tuesday and today, we've traded texts back and forth: general impressions, franchise comparisons, even a few tips and tricks.

Why does any of that matter?

Well, did any of you ever have something really fun you always did with your family growing up? Like, your dad always took you fishing with him, or your big brother would take you to the batting cages with him, or you would help your mother make cupcakes? Or some other dumb bullshit like that?

Ya see, for Killa, burning through summer vacations by slogging through Final Fantasies is something from which I derive a great number of fond memories. And, yo, I'm talking way back. Like 1990. Like dope slap bracelets. Like fold-out-world-map-reverse-side-complete-bestiary old school.

Skip ahead a few years and we were calling each other spoony bards, and then Vanish-Doom'ing every obstacle in our path. Fast forward to the polygonal era and you would catch us kicking it twelve hours a day burning through VII, breeding a stable of chocobos every color of the rainbow and foolishly challenging Ruby Weapon.

Hell, if you're still confused about the plot of FFX, ask our mother, 'cause she watched us play that game like it was the motherfucking moon landing.

And if you happened to frequent the Diabolos server circa 2004 you would've seen a brash young Thief (sub-Monk) brandishing a magnificent firearm, vainly seeking the Emperor's Hairpin, and also getting to know his future brother-in-law.

And then there were lonelier times, like me, alone save for the Public Relations FAQ, spending an atrocious amount of time to never attain a perfect ending...

There was also the experimental Final Fantasy XII by Committee effort that stretched on for nigh a year. It may have been a somewhat awkward, drawn out way to play a role-playing game, but sometimes you need to make the effort, you know? (Oh Vine!)

So, yeah, if you can wrap your mind around the sentimental attachment people have to decorating a Christmas tree, or tossing a baseball back and forth, or learning to fly a kite, then you may just be on the verge of knowing why Killa Blog does not address Final Fantasy XIII in the same way it does a game like BlazBlue.




(Bonus points if you can identify that "brash Thief's maginificent firearm"!)